Adam Jiwan, Technology Entrepreneur

Big-hearted R&B diva Aretha Franklin was famous for singing about her desire for RESPECT. But, since her funeral, it seems like a lot more people are asking for a lot more. Most recently, Franklin’s family has been outspoken about the message delivered by a minister during the eulogy, expressing frustration that he spoke more about social issues than about the departed and much loved singer.

Meanwhile, the controversy that seems to have drawn the most headlines happened to also be one of the most awkward moments caught on camera at the event.

Pop star Ariana Grande performed at the memorial service. And, while she has been widely panned for not dressing conservatively enough for the occasion, it’s what happened to Grande at the ceremony, that caused another Bishop to be put on blast.

After Grande finished performing “A Natural Woman” during the ceremony, Bishop Charles Ellis reached for Grande and pulled her close, his hand caught on video clearly touching the singer in a less than professional way. That image immediately went viral. The pastor in question went from relative unknown to “blatant groper” overnight.

The image also sparked a debate that is still ongoing, pitting those who think Grande was too provocative for a funeral against those who say no woman should feel as uncomfortable as she clearly did being touched by a strange man. While this subtext continued to rage, Bishop Ellis took an opportunity to speak to the press, hoping to clear his name and repair his reputation. His message was direct and apologetic:

“It would never be my intention to touch any woman’s breast. ... I don’t know I guess I put my arm around her… Maybe I crossed the border, maybe I was too friendly or familiar but again, I apologize… Everybody that was up, I shook their hands and hugged them. That’s what we are all about in the church. We are all about love.”

Ellis added that he had no intention to be a distraction for a day that was meant to honor Franklin. Then he addressed another layer of criticism leveled at his behavior at the funeral. From the stage during the show, Ellis joked about “seeing her name and thinking it was a new item on the Taco Bell menu…”

That quip was not appreciated by Grande’s legion of fans, forcing Ellis to apologize once again for any offense: “I personally and sincerely apologize to Ariana and to her fans and to the whole Hispanic community… When you’re doing a program for nine hours you try to keep it lively, you try to insert some jokes here and there.”

In each case, Ellis’ messaging offered an apology as well as comments meant to explain the misstep or blunt the edge of the anger caused by his actions. He was seeking both forgiveness and understanding. Fair enough, but his message may have been better received if he just stuck with the apology and didn’t try to explain it away.