Aradhana TewariThe world that we live in honors success. Receiving an acceptance from a prestigious university, landing a job in a well-known organization, owning a multi-million-dollar venture, and so much more is not only appreciated, it is admired. Achievements look and feel great. Failures, however, do not. When someone fails at something, they don’t clog their social media feeds with it. They don’t host parties to tell all their friends about it. Failure is meant to be hidden, it is something that needs to be covered up, often becoming one’s core wound.On numerous occasions, we do not pursue the people we love so dearly and the dreams that we have dreamed because we aren’t quite sure if we are ready to deal with the rejection or failure if things do not work out. Our failures make us despondent. The society we function in has led us to have a certain perspective of failure. We translate short-term setbacks to lasting defeats. Whether you are an entrepreneur, author, researcher or in any profession imaginable, you are going to come across failure or rejection in your journey to achieving what you have aspired to achieve. What determines whether you reach your destination or not is if you choose to rise above the temporary setbacks and soldier on. So the question is, what if you could rise above failure and rejection and steer clear of the judgments and what possibilities will that create for you? Here are my golden mantras to create a healthier approach to rejections, failures and judgments: 

1. Be present with the fear or rejection: Be aware of your emotions. Acknowledge the fear or grief that you have and do not try to forcibly put an end to it. Our fears and judgements resist us from being present with the reality we are a part of. If only we try to address and understand them, can we rise above our fear of failure, rejections and judgements.

2. If you feel rejected, judged or like a failure, ask: is it really true? Is your situation merely a ‘perceived failure’? What if your metrics of how you evaluate success or failure are based on perspectives and assumptions that you have borrowed from the world around you and are not entirely your own? What if this perceived failure could really lead to mammoth success?

3. Ask by who’s standard have I failed? The society we live in influences our understanding of how something ‘should be done.’ These judgements are subjective and varied. What may be true for others may not be right for you. Spend some time being introspective to analyze if you need to reassess how you draw conclusions.

4. Look for the gifts in the failure or rejection: If you truly search for the gifts that the failure has to offer to you, you move from a space of resignation and wrongness and begin to embrace excitement and possibility. So often your rejections and failures point you in the right direction and tell you so much that success could not. What if you could create so much from it than you could ever imagine?

5. Ask: what have I learned from this experience and how can I use it to my advantage? The choices we make lead us to where we are in life. You can use the perceived failure or rejection to choose differently and create greater for yourself.

These mantras helped me rediscover myself when I did not understand what my relationship with failure or rejection was. And as soon as I did, I felt a sense of liberation. I felt like I was fearless and could walk confidently in the direction of my dreams. It is really important to create an understanding of your emotions and to analyze if your perspectives and ideas about things are your own or really borrowed.What if you could let go the judgments that hold you back? What if you are present with all the choices you make, without the fear of them not working out. What would it mean for you? How wonderful would it be if you could create so much and beyond merely because you decided to raise above the rejections and failures. Today, try these five techniques for yourself and see what magic you can create. 

About the Author: Aradhana Tewari is a life and communication coach, and facilitator for several Access Consciousness special programs including