Thomas J. Madden, Chairman and CEO, Transmedia Group

After “Thank you” you might as well add “YOU SCHMUCK” for staying on hold so long. 

For that’s what we’re all becoming as we wait, wait, WAIT to finally talk to a live human being about credit card mischarges, our Internet having a mind of its own, another bank statement vagary.    

So, are you as tired as I am of hearing dumb voice messages while you wait like this one: “Your call is important to us.”

Oh yea, prove it.  Show me how important it is.  How about taking five dollars off my bill for every 20 minutes you keep me on hold, WAITING!

These days when many of us are confined to our quarters, working remotely from our now dreary domiciles, our once-upon-a-time tolerance level for robots and their asinine messages repeating and repeating is near razor thin.

“Your call is important to us and will be answered by the next available associate.”  

And you wait.  Where is that next available associate? Goofing off again, I suppose.

And you wait to finally speak to that next available associate who is probably on his or her way back from planet Mars.  

Yes, that’s how we’re all living today, feeling important while hiding out in our bunkers from COVID-19 . . . waiting on hold to talk with that elusive, stray dog scoundrel in hiding, the . . . 

NEXT AVAILABLE ASSOCIATE!