As debtors doth make balance sheets ill, humor cures faster than any threats will.  

So, try a more creative approach to debt collection. Make your debtors laugh, don’t raise their ire.  Try dunning more artfully, adding comedic sparks to a friendlier fire.  

In business, we’re always coming across slow payers and no payers for whom we grind reminds to pay, yet it could be far more gay?   

If they keep ignoring your appeals to pay, instead of threats of collection pits and courtroom hell, see if cinematic saber-rattling rings their bell. 

Here’s what worked lately that broke the ice and made a slow-payer smile.  Drilling beneath obstinacy struck a funny bone in his pile, then via Zelle came the strings of his heart, a paid invoice did enter his file.  

What struck the chord was my favorite line from Cyrano de Bergerac . . .  gargantuan nosed José Ferrer masterfully assuring his fencing opponent “You shall die exquisitely.” 

Then he would happily parry and reposte til promise kept.

Here’s a similar scene with a client in default that worked like a charm to open his vault.  

I remind him he hadn’t keep his promises to pay and that must cease.

Then sailing my nose away from port, I recite this piece.

“Don’t make me parry and reposte you into small claims court.  

“This would be an awful blow, for I believe you’re sincere, just a little queer how you retort.

“Knoweth we have a trove of evidence of what we did achieve, so if this goes to court, at your reputation’s funeral they’ll grieve.  

“Even though as Cyrano would say, yours would 'die exquisitely!’”  

“Pay us what’s owing and keep your rep glowing . . . expeditiously.

Thank you!  

Cyrano Madden

About the Author: A Cyrano with words, Tom Madden writes articles, blogs and books, his latest WORDSHINE MAN about how to make your writing exciting is available on Amazon.  As the CEO of TransMedia Group, Madden thrusts and parries PR for clients of his international firm he established 40 years ago when he left NBC.