Simon Erskine Locke, Writer, Communicator and Founder & CEO of CommunicationsMatch^TM With the killings of 11 people at a synagogue in Pittsburgh, pipe bombs and Charlottesville fresh in our minds, the current state of political tribalism leads down a simple path - blame the President or left wing mobs. Both courses do nothing more than harden positions in the uncivil war that is tearing America apart and stripping it of its mantle as a beacon of liberty for the world.When innocents are murdered there is no place for moral relativism or equivalency or for seeing good and bad people on both sides. As human beings we know this.Ordinary people – fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, grandparents, and friends – were killed in Pittsburgh and other attacks across the country.  And every day others are being bullied, assaulted and harassed.  When we feel the pain of each family impacted, when we see ourselves as part of the American family or simply human, these attacks become personal.But if we choose to see people as left or right wing, as competitors in a fight to the death for our version of America, it’s all too easy to dehumanize others and ourselves in the process. When we see others as the enemy – based on race, gender or politics – their value and humanity is diminished.In the Second World War, Nazis dehumanized Jews to co-opt soldiers, ordinary Germans and others in their genocide. American propaganda was designed to dehumanize the Japanese to make it easier to kill them. The path to war and mass killings around the world has been paved with the incitement of populations to label groups as the “other”.America’s Civil War was no different and no less complicated. This descent into darkness divided families and communities and led to the slaughter of more than six hundred thousand American soldiers a little more than a century and a half ago.It is always an uncivil war – a wars of words – that leads to guns, death, and destruction. The path may not be quick and the events that lead us down this path may be small, but unless the course is changed the results are certain. We are doomed to repeat history, unless we learn from it.There is a powerful lesson we can draw from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and the civil rights movement, from Mahatma Gandhi’s peaceful protests, and Nelson Mandela’s struggle against apartheid, and even the second or first world wars: What we do as individuals matters.We all have the choice to engage “others” with the civility we’d hope for from family members and friends. To resist the urge to categorize those with different views as “them” versus “us”. To dial down our rhetoric and sense of righteousness when faced with disagreement. And, not allow ourselves to be led down paths from the right or the left that divide us rather than bring us together.There are wars worth fighting. We have fought them, and the sacrifices and cost in lives have been enormous.The idea of America is something we need to fight for. Not with bombs, AR-15s, weaponized social media, lies or conspiracies – but with conversations around the kitchen table, at community events, and with our fellow Americans about what we stand for as a people. We need to talk about the values upon which the nation was founded, and our ability to fix wrongs in the pursuit of liberty and equality for all.Learning from the past, civility must be our guide through what are legitimate differences of opinion, experience, and ideologies that have shaped our country. We can believe others are wrong, but recognize that the vast majority share our beliefs in more fundamental values and opportunities for all. If we recognize there are different paths to our shared goals as humans and Americans, we can differ on the route while agreeing upon the destination.We are in an uncivil war. Of that there is no doubt. The President, leaders and representatives of all political parties have a key role in setting the tone of the national debate. By the measuring tape of civility, those in power are failing us.But we are not sheep. As individuals, we are responsible for our actions. For what we say and do. For how we engage others in our communities and workplace. Ultimately, it is what we do that matters.We are at a tipping point. If we can encourage civility, tone down the anger and vitriol, recognize that we’re all in this together and are ultimately responsible for the path we take as a country, we can change the route we are on.Blaming the President, Washington or others is easy. It’s harder for us to own our behaviors and contributions to discord. But we must. The path forward depends on it.

About the Author: Simon Erskine Locke, Writer, Communicator and Founder & CEO of CommunicationsMatch^TM an agency search and engagement platform with 5,000 listed firms and professionals in 12 countries, to help companies find and engage agencies, consultants and freelancers that match needs. A founder of communications agencies and startups, he previously headed communications functions at Prudential Financial, Morgan Stanley and Deutsche Bank.