Coach's Corner – Are You Wearing a Good Foundation?

J.D. “Jim” Fox, Head Coach, Next Act CoachingAlong with being a coach, I work with Soledad O’Brien on her hit show “Matter of Fact.”   She was a good sport in helping to wish Mom a Happy 94th birthday.Ninety-four!  And, beyond insomnia and the hearing loss very common to her peers, Mom regularly surprises people when she reveals her age. Same thing happens to me, and I hope Mom’s physical resilience holds for her youngest son — living longer and healthier is, after all, a hallmark of our age. I also hope I have as strong a personal foundation as she does — and I’m not talking about the makeup that goes on first.For a coach, “personal foundation” refers to those characteristics intrinsic to us all, greatly informed by our values and beliefs.   They shape the “who” of us, and focusing on that can be the key to resolving many of life’s major questions — in my practice, figuring out what the “next act” should look like, and how to get there. I think some of who we are evolves as we grow, but a big chunk is from our parent(s), and how we were raised.So, back to Mom.   First off, isn’t it a little comforting to know that some of your crazy is genetic?   Whenever I’m obsessing about something, and trying to let go, I laugh and think of Mom — who obsesses all the time and never lets go!Beyond that, I admit to gratitude.   My 94-year-old Mom is smarter than me (she proofread my published books), persistent, devoted, warm, thoughtful, and really witty.I remember a visit to see her in Wisconsin.   Out to dinner with Mom and two of her girlfriends — while Mom was away from the table for a bathroom break — they expressed amazement that I call her almost every night, and have for years since my Dad died.They wanted to know why.   Just a devoted son?“I’d like to think so, but here’s the key,” I said.  “She’s really fun.”   You should see us on our comical shopping runs to Target, Kohls, Walgreens, Hallmark, Goodwill, and the Dollar Store.  No, not all on the same day.  Unless she’s on a roll to find something.I know I’m in a rare category on this one, though I don’t mean for a second to convey that home life growing up was always rosy.   Like most New Yorkers, I’ve done my time in a shrink’s chair.But as far as my Mom goes, and her role in shaping my personal foundation, along with the gratitude, I can only say this:

“Happy Birthday, Mom.   You look amazing.   I hate to shop with anyone but you.”