Coach's Corner – Between Generations

J.D. “Jim” Fox, Head Coach, Next Act CoachingMy Dad held just two jobs over his entire career, both in accounting.I've not only lost count of my jobs (especially if you count promotions and reassignments at one employer), but I have a hard time even counting the number of SECTORS I've worked in. The list I usually default to is "TV news, government, politics, health care, law, academia, and nonprofits." Does putting yourself through school by working at a grocery warehouse count?My Dad got engaged to his high school sweetheart four days before he joined the 101st Airborne, and saw so much of World War II that he never wanted to talk about it, content to live in Wisconsin and raise his family.My generation skipped compulsory foreign military service, but I've certainly employed domestic geographic cures over the past few decades: Madison, Milwaukee, Washington, D.C., San Francisco, Chicago, and now New York.My Dad was not just a member of "The Greatest Generation."  They were Kings. They vanquished real evil, went to school on the GI Bill, and made enough as single earners to buy a house, a series of gas hogs, and summer vacations near home.But now, the downside (as I see it) of those who do just one thing their whole careers -- I'm not a shrink, but it sure seems to become too big a part of their identity. Once they retire at 63 or 65, they get bored with golf and start to annoy their spouses in whole new ways.  Health issues become more important, and I bet some of that is connected to how they didn't take care of their bodies with all those hours at the office or on the shop floor.   

And, most disturbingly, they seem to die before their time.   My Dad went out at 71.   Truly, truly tragic.  This youngest son clearly did not get enough time with him.

Now, I look around at my own generation of Boomers.   We don't enjoy the job security our Dads did; certainly not the pensions with health care.   Most would agree it's really stressful now.  More stimulating than one career-long gig, perhaps, but more stressful.

Have we traded stress for stability -- and aren't both killers?

To me, it makes the case for careful planning, and bringing in as much help as we can.   Coaches like me, certainly, but help in general for the things we don't do very well and try to avoid -- for men, that means attention to our bodies, attention to our long-term finances, and grudging-if-necessary attention to all those "soft" bits -- friends, community involvement, creative outlets, giving back.  Women talk of similar issues, but of course have other layers too -- many directly descended from the American culture set up by the Kings of the '50s like my Dad.

We have a different set of choices than our fathers (or grandfathers) did.   They worried about getting shot while trying to liberate Europe, and were relieved to make it home in one piece (my parents married a month after his return).   Today, our threats are not as imminent, but every bit as life-threatening if we make the wrong choices -- and not just the big calls, but also the little choices we make just to get through every day with some sense of purpose and dignity.  We need to pay more attention to what's going on in our heads and hearts -- both on and off the job.   As any good doc will tell you, everything is connected.