Coach's Corner – Networking: Necessary Evil, or Just Evil?
J.D. “Jim” Fox, Head Coach, Next Act Coaching
You’re looking at the schedule for an upcoming conference, and you see those two early evening hours set aside for a “Networking Reception.” Does your heart fill with glee, or the pit of your stomach with dread?I think there’s basically two kinds of people in the world – those who get energized by the thought of all the new contacts they’ll make at the mixer, and those who know they can pull it off but will make a beeline for the bar, mostly talk to people they know, and probably leave exhausted.I live in the latter camp, and have learned over time that chardonnay is a better idea than vodka, and you really can make a balanced meal out of raw vegetables, chicken satay, and a little carbohydrate (i.e., bread; maybe ONE pig in a blanket). And chardonnay. Unless it’s not cold (there’s no condensation on the bottle). Then vodka tonic. With ice.
I’ve witnessed workshops designed to make shy people like me better at networking. Not to knock those folks who make their living off this, but from my perspective it’s painful to watch earnest networkers get their elevator pitch into two breaths and practice it in the lovely acoustical setting of a hotel basement.I’ve also done the online version. Coached at a leading outplacement firm, I got myself to more than 500 LinkedIn contacts. Now it’s at something like 650. Not sure how that happened. I’m sure it’s a good thing. I fondly remember a former student at NYU, noting her impressive number of contacts on various platforms, proudly saying, “I’ve actually met all of mine. In person.”Now this: a credible source saying networking doesn’t really work. Back in late August, while you were at the beach (even if still at the office), Adam Grant of the Wharton School published an essay in the Times titled, “Networking is Overrated.”His basic premise: it’s not who you know. It’s what you do. It does help if you’re white and male.Beyond that, he says networking makes us feel dirty. He cites a study saying people rate soap and toothpaste almost 20 percent more positively after imagining themselves at a networking reception. “Just reading that research made me want to take a shower,” he said.Thanks, Professor Grant. I feel less alone, and less like a loser for reacting the way I do to most networking.And, here’s the lagging question, and I will volunteer that it may reflect that I’ve not given it my all and tried hard enough. But, why devote time and energy to something you know you suck at?
I’ve witnessed workshops designed to make shy people like me better at networking. Not to knock those folks who make their living off this, but from my perspective it’s painful to watch earnest networkers get their elevator pitch into two breaths and practice it in the lovely acoustical setting of a hotel basement.I’ve also done the online version. Coached at a leading outplacement firm, I got myself to more than 500 LinkedIn contacts. Now it’s at something like 650. Not sure how that happened. I’m sure it’s a good thing. I fondly remember a former student at NYU, noting her impressive number of contacts on various platforms, proudly saying, “I’ve actually met all of mine. In person.”Now this: a credible source saying networking doesn’t really work. Back in late August, while you were at the beach (even if still at the office), Adam Grant of the Wharton School published an essay in the Times titled, “Networking is Overrated.”His basic premise: it’s not who you know. It’s what you do. It does help if you’re white and male.Beyond that, he says networking makes us feel dirty. He cites a study saying people rate soap and toothpaste almost 20 percent more positively after imagining themselves at a networking reception. “Just reading that research made me want to take a shower,” he said.Thanks, Professor Grant. I feel less alone, and less like a loser for reacting the way I do to most networking.And, here’s the lagging question, and I will volunteer that it may reflect that I’ve not given it my all and tried hard enough. But, why devote time and energy to something you know you suck at?
