I can tell if you are conning me – some of the time.

During my years as a therapist, it became second nature to notice the body language of my clients. During our conversations, I would sit across from people and try to infer from their nonverbal signals how they really felt about an issue.

You were having an intense conversation with a woman you met at a networking event when she began to shift her gaze from your face to look around the room. Did that made you feel as if she’d stopped listening?

If so, it wasn’t a logical reaction. You know that a person doesn’t have to look at you to hear you. After all, people don’t listen with their eyes.

Because I’ve trained them to do so, I know that many negotiators have learned how to read body language and to use the resulting insights to their advantage. But I also know that other negotiators miss valuable opportunities simply because they don’t pay attention. They get so wrapped up in what’s being said or in the documents being presented, they neglect to look for these vital cues. Here are four strategies for reading body language when negotiating.

A while back, I was on a phone call from a prospective client who was looking to “book a speaker who would make my people want to change.” The caller was the vice president of a large company going through a substantial transformation - and the following conversation showed that he didn’t know the first thing about leading change.

During a break at the conference where I had just spoken on “Connection, Empathy, and Leadership Presence,” a man from the audience told me this story…

Although there are many nonverbal strategies that help you look like a leader, there are gender, situational, and cultural differences that impact their effectiveness.